Wednesday, April 13, 2005

WWJB? Who Would Jesus Bomb: Moderate Jesus

For our second to final entry in our mini-series on Who Would Jesus Bomb we turn to Moderate Jesus.  As you may recall when we previously checked in with Conservative Jesus and then Liberal Jesus, this series takes a look at the stereotypical response of thoughtless folks intent on remaking Jesus in their own political image.  This is not about Real Jesus (ie. JC: the final entry in the series will cover our speculation on WW(Real)JB?)  Today our task gets the toughest as we tackle Moderate Jesus (or MJ as opposed to JC).  Toughest because as Moderates the editors here at RealityBased.Info are as moderate as we can afford to be given the current insanity contolling the White House, so this exercise involves some serious self-critique and willingness to poke fun at ourselves.  With that challenge in mind please join us for the Bombing Targets for Moderate Jesus (BTMJ):

Moderate Jesus (MJ) like Adam Sandler's character  in Anger Management is above all afraid of rocking the boat or moving anybody out of their comfort zone.   Non-confrontational and passive/agressive in the extreme.  As a matter of fact the BTMJ is secret and MJ has always denied having one.  This is the first time its ever been published (we sent our people in undercover to get it). So when he does (rarely or so he'd have us believe) work up an ire its towards extremists and troublemakers.  Conspiracy theorists are near the top his list!  The more effective people are at shaking things up the higher they work their way up on the list.


Bombing Targets for Moderate Jesus (BTMJ):


  1. Real Jesus (way too much of a trouble maker -- crucify him!)
  2. Conspiracy Theorists
  3. Fundamentalist Christians
  4. Fundamentalist Muslims
  5. Fundamentalist Atheists
  6. Fundamentalist Secularists
  7. Evangelical Christians (although milder and somewhat more acceptable than Fundamentalist Christians, the whole "witnessing" with strangers/knocking on doors thing doesn't go down well with Moderate Jesus.  Talk about pushing people out of their comfort zone!).
  8. Dominionists (* Can't say we disagree with him there.  Notice that Fundamentalist Christians are not the same as Dominionists although similar and often confused as in Chris Bowers' joke of a series on "NonChristian-Coalition").
  9. Barbara Boxer
  10. John Conyers
  11. Cliff Arnebeck
  12. Raw Story
  13. Bob Fitrakis
  14. FreePress.org
  15. BuzzFlash.com
  16. David Cobb
  17. Michael Badnarik
  18. Ralph Nader
  19. The whole "Red State" of mind
  20. Red necks
  21. KKK *
  22. Neo-Nazis *
  23. Neo-Cons (although in some cases like Lieberman they may actually be on Moderate Jesus' saints list)
  24. Extensive portions of the southern U.S.
  25. The Bible Belt
  26. Oliver North (here MJ agrees with LJ)
  27. G. Gordon Liddy (and again agrees with LJ)
  28. Communists
  29. Revolutionaries (MJ logically should include Founding Fathers, but logic seems to disappear)
  30. Socialists (almost as bad as Communists)
  31. Earth First!
  32. PETA
  33. Greenpeace
  34. The Sea Shepards
  35. Anyone ostentatious or audacious who draws too much attention to themselves (ie. Dennis Rodman)
  36. France (agrees with CJ on this)
  37. Saddam Hussein (agrees with CJ on this too)
  38. The Baathists in Iraq and Syria
  39. Khomenei (posthumously)
  40. Episcopal Church (for ordaining openly practiciing gays).
  41. Colorado Springs, Dominionist central.
  42. Michael Jackson
  43. Eric Robert Randalph
  44. Mathew Shepard (posthumously, yes, not his killers, him for stirring up people's emotions so)
  45. Jessie Jackson
  46. Newt Gingrich *
  47. Tom Delay *
  48. Bill Frist *
  49. Paul Wolfowitz *
  50. Bill Kristol *
  51. Fox News *
  52. Pope John Paul II (posthumously although MJ is loathe to admit it especially being as non-PC as it is to say just after his passing.  CJ and LJ agree - pissed all them off so JPII must have done something right.)

  53. NHL (due to the lockout: agrees w/ both CJ and LJ on this) *

* (can't say we disagree with MJ there either)
What are your nominations for the BTMJ?

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

GOP: Resign Delay! Poll

Okay so some sanity appears to have been retained in the G.O.P. and they are wanting to cut their losses.   Moderate Republican Rep. Shays (CT) is calling for Delay to resign as House Majority Leader!



Republicans air concern over DeLay

Shays calls for him to resign as House majority leader


Monday, April 11, 2005 Posted: 6:43 AM EDT (1043 GMT)



Rep. Tom DeLay was admonished three times last year by the House Ethics Committee.


DeLay is under fire after report of possible ethics violations.


WASHINGTON (AP) -- Private GOP tensions over Tom DeLay's ethics controversy spilled into public Sunday, as a Senate leader called on DeLay to explain his actions and one House Republican demanded the majority leader's resignation.


"Tom's conduct is hurting the Republican Party, is hurting this Republican majority and it is hurting any Republican who is up for re-election," Rep. Chris Shays, a Connecticut Republican
, told The Associated Press in an interview, calling for DeLay to step down as majority leader.



Story continued:



DeLay, a Texas Republican who was admonished by the House ethics committee last year, has been dogged in recent months by new reports about his overseas travel funded by special interests, campaign payments to family members and connections to a lobbyist who is under criminal investigation.


A moderate Republican from Connecticut who has battled with his party's leadership on a number of issues, Shays said efforts by the House GOP members to change ethics rules to protect DeLay only make the party look bad.


"My party is going to have to decide whether we are going to continue to make excuses for Tom to the detriment of Republicans seeking election," Shays said.


But wait! There's more evidence of sanity creeping in among the G.O.P.:



Rick Santorum, the No. 3 Republican in the Senate, said Sunday that DeLay needs to explain his conduct to the public.


"I think he has to come forward and lay out what he did and why he did it and let the people then judge for themselves," Santorum told ABC's "This Week." "But from everything I've heard, again, from the comments and responding to those, is everything he's done was according to the law.


"Now you may not like some of the things he's done," said Santorum, who is up for re-election next year in Pennsylvania. "That's for the people of his district to decide, whether they want to approve that kind of behavior or not."




DeLay's spokesman, Dan Allen, told AP that the congressman "looks forward to the opportunity of sitting down with the ethics committee chairman and ranking member to get the facts out and to dispel the fiction and innuendo that's being launched at him by House Democrats and their liberal allies."


The majority leader was admonished three times last year by that committee. The committee has been in limbo since March, when its five Democrats balked at adopting Republican-developed rules.


House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi, a California Democrat, said last week that the controversy was distracting DeLay from dealing with more pressing problems before Congress.


Santorum, however, said DeLay is "very effective in leading the House" and "to date, has not been compromised."


Okay, limited sanity.




A senior Democratic senator, Christopher Dodd of Connecticut, had this advice for the Republicans who control both the House and Senate: "Be careful about how closely you embrace Mr. DeLay."


Dodd cited the new rules for the ethics committee that House Republicans rammed through in the wake of DeLay's difficulties. Those rules require a bipartisan vote before an investigation can be launched. DeLay's office also helped mount a counterattack last fall against Rep. Joel Hefley, a Colorado Republican, who was the ethics committee chairman when it came down against DeLay.


"Unfortunately, in his particular case, there's a process that he's tried to change so they could actually reach a determination as to whether or not he's innocent or guilty of the things he's been charged with," Dodd said. "But this is not going to go away."


DeLay "becomes the poster child for a lot of the things the Democrats think are wrong about Republican leadership. As long as he's there, he's going to become a pretty good target," Dodd said on ABC.



So what do you think? Is it better for Dems if he stays or goes? (answer poll below)



DeLay, who took center stage in passing legislation designed to keep alive Terri Schiavo, also has found that President Bush and congressional colleagues are distancing themselves from his comments, after her death, about the judges involved in her case.


"The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior," DeLay said, raising the prospect of impeaching members of a separate and independent branch of government. Later, he complained of "an arrogant and out of control judiciary that thumbs its nose at Congress and the president."


Bush, declining to endorse DeLay's comments, said Friday that he supports "an independent judiciary." He added, "I believe in proper checks and balances."


Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist of Tennessee said last week that the judges "handled it in a fair and independent way," although he had hoped for a different result.


Democrats have said DeLay's remarks were tantamount to inciting violence against judges.



Nah.... you think?  Those nasty Dems take everything so seriously (and personally too).

Friday, April 08, 2005

Dems Finally Reach Anger Stage!

Finally the Senate Democrats are reaching the Anger Stage of the Five Stages of Grieving over how we all have been hoodwinked by the Bush Administration's so-called "Curve ball" and the stealing of a second election.  Its about damn time!  



The Denial Stage Stage has been self-evident and requires no explanation. Bargaining Stage has been evident in the so called "Moderate" Lieberman faction - seemingly thinking that somehow if they cooperate with the NeoCon traitors they'll be allowed to win now and again - think again!  Once these Fascists start in there's no turning back.  Ask the Germans who remember Hitler's elimination of the Weimar constitution.  Wake up people! There's no bargaining with totalitarians, PNAC "NeoCons" included.  The Depression Stage has also been common after Votergate.


The only kind of Acceptance that's acceptable in this situation is to accept that the Neocons, Dominionists, and the Robber Barron corporate thugs are traitors and need to be fought and not bargained with.  The totalitarians whether they be Fascists, Nazis, Communists or Theocons are all cut from the same cloth.  They must be fought if Jeffersonian Democracy and Humanitarianism and the Principles of Enlightenment that our country was built on and represent our highest achievements are to survive.

Friday, March 18, 2005

WWJB? Who Would Jesus Bomb? : Liberal Jesus

The morning after St. Paddy's and the editors of RealityBased.Info are bleary-eyed and sporting headaches from the revelry last night. However we plunge on in our quest for Truth, Justice and the American Way. Yesterday we started on our short series exploring just Who Would Jesus Bomb anyway (see WWJB? Who Would Jesus Bomb? : Conservative Jesus). This builds off of the premise that in some ways Jesus is in the eye of the beholder and that people overlay their own political template over Jesus and God when they want to justify murder and mayhem. Today our task gets tougher as we tackle Liberal Jesus (or LJ as opposed to JC).

Liberal Jesus or LJ, is largely interested in countering the agenda of Conservative Jesus. When he gets to proactivity he is closely associated with the Sandanistas, Liberation Theology and the like. So lets start a list (not in priority order).

Bombing Targets for Liberal Jesus (BTLJ):

1. Conservative Jesus
2. Jessie Helms
3. Newt Gingerich
4. Rush Limbaugh
5. Sean Hannity
6. Ronald Reagan (posthumously)
7. Bush Sr.
8. Mini Me (Bush Jr.)
9. Field Marshall Von Rumsfeld (as Ed Schulz call him.
10. Prescott Bush (posthumously)
11. Red States
12. Nashville
13. NASCAR
14. Condie (Lies-a-lot) Rice
15. Karen Hughes
16. Karl Rove
17. Dennis Miller
18. Paul Wolfowitz
19. Richard Perl
20. Bill Frist
21. Tom Delay
22. 700 Club
23. Pat Robertson
24. Jerry Fallwell
25. The Heritage Foundation
26. The Cato Institute
27. Tony Blair
28. Rupert Murdoch
29. G. Gordon Liddy
30. Oliver North
31. The Contras
32. Red Necks
33. Southern Man
34. Lynard Skynard
35. Hand gun owners
36. "Pro-life"/(pro-birth) advocates
36. Abortion clinic bombers
37. KKK
38. NeoNazis
39. Skinheads
40. Aryan Nations
41. "Christian Identity" types
42. The Confederacy and Johny Reb
43. Israel (but not Palestine)
44. Saudi Arabia
45. Singapore
46. Hailey Barbour
47. Ron Silverman
48. "Mad as Hell" Zell
49. Joe Lieberman
50. Gannon/Guckert
51. Alan Keyes
52. Clarence Thomas
53. Katherine Harris
54. "Butterfly Ballot" La Pore
55. Kenneth Blackwell
56. Bill O'Lielly
57. Ann Coulter (Liberal Jesus is reserving a special place in hell)
58. Supply Side Economists
59. Ayn Rand
60. Margie Schottenheimer
61. Edward Teller
62. "Star Wars"
63. The Pope
64. The Vatican
65. Ariel Sharon
66. West Bank Settlements
67. Switzerland
68. Off shore accounts
69. Argentina
70. Paraguay
71. Brazil
72. Third World Dictators/Banana Republics
73. The Ruling oligarchy of El Salvador
74. Somoza
75. The Shah's grave
76. World Bank
77. NAFTA
78. The Rich
79. The NHL (for canceling the season).

(Add your additions in the comments below).

Thursday, March 17, 2005

WWJB? Who Would Jesus Bomb?: Conservative Jesus

Being St. Patricks day we thought this was the perfect time to ask the really daring question: WWJB? Who Would Jesus Bomb? Here at RealityBased.Info the editorial staff have been puzzling over this question quite some time and so far we've drawn a blank. Somehow our impression is that the the Spirit just isn't all that interested in that whole maiming and slaughtering thang.

However our analysis has lead us to understand that in some ways Jesus is in the eye of the beholder. So instead of talking about Jesus Christ (JC, Son of God and all that) we've come up with three potential targeting lists that we'll explore: Conservative Jesus, Moderate Jesus, Liberal Jesus. Take a look and help out by adding to our Bombing Targets for Jesus (BTxJ).

Okay, today we'll start with Conservative Jesus (or CJ as opposed to JC) targeting plan. CJ might want to work with terrorists and load up cargo plans with fuel, bombs, and possibly even WMDs to bomb the following with plausible deniability:

I) CJ's target plan (Bombing Targets for CJ or BTCJ):

CJ might be thought to be interested in bombing
1. Abortion clinics
2. Gays/Homosexuals
3. California Supreme Court
4. Activist Judges
5. ANWR
6. Saddam
7. France
8. Blue States
9. NYC
10. Hollywood
11. Polygamists
12. Feminists, especially Lesbians
13. Iraq
14. Afghanistan
15. Syria
16. N. Korea
17. Palestine (not Israel though)
18. Vietnam
19. Laos
20. Cambodia
21. Berkeley
22. Santa Cruz
23. Eugene
24. Pagans
25. Heathens
26. Communists
27. Socialists
28. Greens
29. Liberals
30. Moderates
31. non-Dominionists
32. non-700 Club Subscribers
33. Backsliders
34. New Agers
35. Secular Humanists
36. Darwinian Theorists (Monkey's Uncles)
37. Muslims
38. The Immoral Minority
39. Pres. Bill Clinton
40. Hilary
41. Arafat (posthumously)
42. Organic farmers
43. Non-Texas Ranger fans
44. Jose Conseco
45. Soccer players
46. Madison
47. New Orleans
48. Cuba
49. Castro
50. NHL (for canceling the season)
51. Canada
52. Scandanavia
53. China (PRC, not Taiwan)
54. Air America
55. Al Franken
56. SNL
57. The Daily Show!!!!
(Please feel free to add to our list in the comments).

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

IRA and DUP Are Just Crims. The People Want Peace in N. Ireland!

This is the way it REALLY is in the North of Ireland: the people just want peace. Its the organized criminal terrorists on both "sides" that are trying to keep things hot. Normal, average, everyday people want peace.

And what does this have to do with America (and this blog is primarily about the American experience after all)? Everything! It the Irish-Americans sending $$$ back to the old country who are keeping this thing alive. Truly, for God's sake and for the sake of the human beings in Ireland, DON'T SEND MONEY TO TERRORISTS ON EITHER SIDE!!! THEY ARE JUST THUGS! And making this statement is how this Irish-American will celebrate Irish-American Heritage Month and St. Patrick's.

RealityBased.Info


McCartney sisters take battle to IRA in America
From David Sharrock and Tim Reid
A CATHOLIC woman from the Belfast streets where the IRA was born last night bluntly told Irish America to abandon its romantic view of the armed struggle for Irish unity.

Directly challenging the IRA’s reason to exist, Catherine McCartney said: “The struggle in terms of what it was ten years ago is now over. We are now dealing with criminal gangs who use the cloak of romanticism around the IRA to murder people on the streets and walk away from it.

“We want the people in America to know that any romantic vision they have of the struggle should now be dispelled.”

Ms McCartney, one of five sisters whose brother, Robert, was murdered, they say, by the IRA after a bar-room row, was speaking as they arrived in the United States for a series of meetings with leading American policitians with Irish links and a visit to the White House. "

Please read the whole article at TimesOnline.uk

Again, for the love of God and humanity, take a stand against these merchants of hate and death. Oppose the criminals fueling this thing on both "sides" and side with peace!

RealityBased.Info

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